sacred new beginnings, that became my religion (daisyxfast)

[chill]

fastflight

she had more reasons than most to make the most of each fleeting moment. for fastflight, daisychase was everything good. he was love, he was home, he was her peaceful respite from the world. yet of late, when their eyes met, the she-cat couldn't help but remember what it had been like to lose him. what a profound loss it was, to find the most precious thing in the world and not even realize it was gone. to fight for the tom twice, fight for her clan, herself, her own memories and sense of self. fastflight knew nothing would ever compare to that loss, but there was a new, ever present fear now, as two-legs had begun to appear in the forest and clan cats began to go missing. it wasn't a chance disappearance, as she had experienced, her one in a million rarity in losing her clan the moment she'd gone tumbling through the undercurrents all those moons ago. no, this was purposeful, was malicious, was concrete and visible and no matter how many times she tried to shake the thought from her head, she couldn't help but realize that these cats were gone forever. they were lost, but unlike her, they would never experience the miracle of being found.
fastflight had always fancied herself brave, strong, smart. a younger version of her would probably have faced this situation with a grin and gusto, never thinking of consequences, only of how she could fight this invisible battle for her clan. and while, yes, that version of her still existed somewhere inside, fastflight now found herself shrinking back more and more. it was fair, no one blamed her for it, everyone in riverclan was scared of this situation. it was something they'd never faced before, fear and uncertainty were only natural responses. yet despite that, the tabby she-cat could feel the brave, the strong, the smart parts of her dimming as she slowly became a shadow of daisychase, glued to his side when she was not required to be elsewhere. she could not lose him again.
she wished things could be as they were, once, the two young warriors running off on playful adventures and soaking in every moment of their rediscovered, newfound love. but every corner of the forest felt like a potential threat now, and it was such a rarity that they dared wander riverclan territory alone. but she was willing to embrace the rarity of those moments, needed them, and had asked daisychase if they could spend sunrise by the river. just to speak, just to be together, just for a moment of peace. fastflight had meant it to be something between the two of them, as special as old times, but caught herself pulling ottersnarl aside the night before, telling him where to look for them if they were gone too long, caused any worry. despite any differences the two warriors had experienced between them, she knew that he was someone trustworthy.
she'd found herself too nervous to sleep, and surely daisychase had felt her stirring all night long. she felt bad that she'd likely woken him as well. when the first whispers of daybreak came about, when other warriors would soon be rising for their duties, she'd gently nudged her mate awake, pulling him from sleep with a gentle caress. the two had wandered quietly out of camp, making their way to the river under the heavy blanket of sleeplessness and morning dew. always the river, the place where fastflight had been lost and the place where she'd been found, somewhere that felt oddly safe to her, somehow sacred. somewhere that was also only a short journey from camp. as the two approached, the sound of running water meeting them before the river itself came into view, fastflight found herself stepping past daisychase, walking until she was sitting with her paws on the riverbank. her reflection greeted her in the water, still dark as only the first rays of dawn graced the sky above them. she wanted to look over her shoulder to the black and white tom behind her, the one she loved so much, but for some reason when she tried to speak to him she felt all the right words disappear. perhaps speaking them to the river, to herself, was the solution. fastflight inhaled, exhaled, a long and calming breath doubling as a long and suspenseful pause. now. "daisychase, i..." keep going. "i can't lose you again. i can't lose all this again." the words felt so heavy as her thoughts became spoken words, as if they were stones that would sink straight to the bottom of the river. and yet, somehow, saying them didn't make her feel any lighter.

[:ripples:] i'm setting this sometime closer to when the twolegs first appear?? like when its still pretty unknown what's happening other than cats are definitely disappearing and that terrifies fast?
Scarlet for random mention lol