sacred new beginnings, that became my religion (daisyxfast)

[chill]

fastflight

she had more reasons than most to make the most of each fleeting moment. for fastflight, daisychase was everything good. he was love, he was home, he was her peaceful respite from the world. yet of late, when their eyes met, the she-cat couldn't help but remember what it had been like to lose him. what a profound loss it was, to find the most precious thing in the world and not even realize it was gone. to fight for the tom twice, fight for her clan, herself, her own memories and sense of self. fastflight knew nothing would ever compare to that loss, but there was a new, ever present fear now, as two-legs had begun to appear in the forest and clan cats began to go missing. it wasn't a chance disappearance, as she had experienced, her one in a million rarity in losing her clan the moment she'd gone tumbling through the undercurrents all those moons ago. no, this was purposeful, was malicious, was concrete and visible and no matter how many times she tried to shake the thought from her head, she couldn't help but realize that these cats were gone forever. they were lost, but unlike her, they would never experience the miracle of being found.
fastflight had always fancied herself brave, strong, smart. a younger version of her would probably have faced this situation with a grin and gusto, never thinking of consequences, only of how she could fight this invisible battle for her clan. and while, yes, that version of her still existed somewhere inside, fastflight now found herself shrinking back more and more. it was fair, no one blamed her for it, everyone in riverclan was scared of this situation. it was something they'd never faced before, fear and uncertainty were only natural responses. yet despite that, the tabby she-cat could feel the brave, the strong, the smart parts of her dimming as she slowly became a shadow of daisychase, glued to his side when she was not required to be elsewhere. she could not lose him again.
she wished things could be as they were, once, the two young warriors running off on playful adventures and soaking in every moment of their rediscovered, newfound love. but every corner of the forest felt like a potential threat now, and it was such a rarity that they dared wander riverclan territory alone. but she was willing to embrace the rarity of those moments, needed them, and had asked daisychase if they could spend sunrise by the river. just to speak, just to be together, just for a moment of peace. fastflight had meant it to be something between the two of them, as special as old times, but caught herself pulling ottersnarl aside the night before, telling him where to look for them if they were gone too long, caused any worry. despite any differences the two warriors had experienced between them, she knew that he was someone trustworthy.
she'd found herself too nervous to sleep, and surely daisychase had felt her stirring all night long. she felt bad that she'd likely woken him as well. when the first whispers of daybreak came about, when other warriors would soon be rising for their duties, she'd gently nudged her mate awake, pulling him from sleep with a gentle caress. the two had wandered quietly out of camp, making their way to the river under the heavy blanket of sleeplessness and morning dew. always the river, the place where fastflight had been lost and the place where she'd been found, somewhere that felt oddly safe to her, somehow sacred. somewhere that was also only a short journey from camp. as the two approached, the sound of running water meeting them before the river itself came into view, fastflight found herself stepping past daisychase, walking until she was sitting with her paws on the riverbank. her reflection greeted her in the water, still dark as only the first rays of dawn graced the sky above them. she wanted to look over her shoulder to the black and white tom behind her, the one she loved so much, but for some reason when she tried to speak to him she felt all the right words disappear. perhaps speaking them to the river, to herself, was the solution. fastflight inhaled, exhaled, a long and calming breath doubling as a long and suspenseful pause. now. "daisychase, i..." keep going. "i can't lose you again. i can't lose all this again." the words felt so heavy as her thoughts became spoken words, as if they were stones that would sink straight to the bottom of the river. and yet, somehow, saying them didn't make her feel any lighter.

[:ripples:] i'm setting this sometime closer to when the twolegs first appear?? like when its still pretty unknown what's happening other than cats are definitely disappearing and that terrifies fast?
Scarlet for random mention lol

[[:ripples:]]

♥ Daisychase of riverclan

HE HAD ALWAYS MANAGED to be more carefree than his circumstances called for, for as long as he could remember. The dark cloud that followed his family had assailed them since well before his birth, but he had seen his fair share in his short life- the death of his father, Nightheron, when he was only a kit. His mother's spiral into depression and the loss of his sister, Dapplekit. His mother's decision to leave her barely weaned son and foster-child to go on a long and dangerous journey from which she had no guarantee of returning. It had been Cosmos-streak who helped him face the loneliness when Ripplestream left, and Fastflight who had brought back his smile during their days as apprentices, and Tornwing, his grandfather, who had provided guidance in the stead of his absent and deceased parents. He had weathered the horror of losing his family by clinging to those around him.

FASTFLIGHT'S DISAPPEARANCE had been a harsh blow, but even that he had managed to survive with the help of his friends and his grandfather. His mother's return had been more difficult that he imagined, if only because he had realized that the two of them were near perfect strangers after having been separated for so long. Getting Fastflight back was the balm that brough him back to life, in spite of her memory loss- just knowing that she was safe and well made him realize how little he had allowed himself to breathe while she was lost. And then, slowly, as she began to remember him, his world became rosy again. He began to dream about the future again, one with Fastflight, who now loved him again, one where he might see his mother doting over her own grandchildren the way Tornwing had doted over him. He began to imagine a life in which things seemed, dare he think it, normal.

AND THEN THE TWOLEGS HAD COME. Attacked did not seem to be the right word- they weren't going to battle. It was more sinister than an honorable fight. They took cats in the night, in secret, when they could not be stopped. They captured them using traps and trickery. The initial fear had been bad enough, but after Sootstar was captured, it drove the clan into high alert. They stuck close to one another. Avoided going out alone. Whispers of strange happenings took the place of carefree laughter and joyous stories. And Daisychase's thoughts, previously focused on a happy future, narrowed to the day by day. They had to make it through this. They had to survive. Together.

HE COULD FEEL IT IN FASTFLIGHT AS WELL. She had never gone back to the carefree spitfire that she was as an apprentice- always a bit more cautious, a bit more grown up, since she came back. But she was her, and they were happy. But lately, she had been drawn down, drawn in, withdrawn from everything around her. When she had asked him to come to the riverbank, he had agreed without hesitation- so rarely did she want to go out, these days. But even as he followed her, he could see the shake in her step. He stopped just behind her as she gazed down into the river, her words like stones dropping from her mouth. He padded forward and sat beside her, letting his breath out, wrapping his tail around hers.

"I KNOW. I... I KNOW." His words, inadequate. But what else was there to say? Before, he would have had so much to say, so much to talk about, to imagine in their future. Now, it was just survival. Just right now. Just waiting for the next shoe to drop.

chill

i'm high on believing
that you're in love with me

[chill]

fastflight

fastflight allowed herself to smile, if only so slightly. the gentle touch of her partner was reassuring, as reassuring as anything could be in this moment. she got the feeling daisychase didn't like her bringing up her disappearance and memory loss, perhaps moreso than even herself. she didn't hold that against him; he had carried so much of the trauma surrounding that event, even once she had returned to herself. for her, she didn't have to burden a loss, but merely undergo a painful rediscovery. daisychase, on the other hand, had lost her twice over. something she could never understand, but something they could reconcile together. fastflight thought they had, as much as they ever would, patched those wounds. that they had returned to a place happier than she'd ever imagined was possible. truly, the possibilities of it all had felt boundless.
for the first time in her life, fastflight had seen a whole world open up before her, an entire future. as an apprentice she had spent moons and moons thinking of lofty goals, ambitions to chase. she had been on top of the world, filled with such a fierce happiness. and then, out of nowhere, she'd looked into daisychase's. eyes and felt the most tender love a young cat could feel. she'd wanted to be bold and ambitious and tackle the world, but she knew it would never be enough unless he was with her. they were inexplicably intertwined, and it took her so long to recognize that they could do more together, be more together, than silly little lovestruck children. took the pain of recognizing what they'd lost in order to see what all could be gained.
though she had so rarely spoken of it out loud, the thought of it bringing a nervous pitter patter to her heart, fastflight sometimes thought about the path her life would take as not only a warrior, but as daisychase's mate. she didn't regret setting free her ambitions of grandeur, being more than content with her place as a skilled young warrior and perhaps nothing more. something in her heart had shifted, and in moments of tender glances between her and daisychase she felt the slight tightening of her chest at the maybe, even the tiniest of possibilities, that she would wake up one morning next to the tom and realize that her place was in the nursery. though they were merely phantoms to her, an idea she could never quite manifest, sometimes even her dreams were laced with the outlines of rambunctious kits running circles around her.
it was one of the many dreams she'd squashed of late, pushed from her mind. all the thoughts and dreams of a happy future felt wrong, felt like they were another way the twolegs were taunting her. things she wanted but would never be allowed, not while they were here. oh how she missed feeling joy, hope, anything but fear. she wanted to feel anything but fear. feeling the warmth of daisychase next to her, the tabby leaned against him, drinking in every second they were together. neither of them were certain of the future, neither of them truly safe. but, above all that, they had each other. that was what mattered. "daisy?" she whispered up at him, feeling oddly self conscious, "will you tell me a story?" she remembered the way, when she first returned to riverclan, that the tom had fed her bits and pieces of herself without giving away the full story. let her stumble into her own recollections without assumption or influence. she felt so silly and shy in that moment, like she used to when she was an apprentice still trying to understand her feelings for him. felt a way she hadn't felt in a long time. "tell me about the first time you thought you loved me." and without thinking, without reason, fastflight let out a quiet laugh. 


I CAN MANIFEST IT!!!! [:ripples:]